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Why people are sick of listening to us.

by Adrien-Luc Sanders

I’m late posting today, again. Not because I was busy (although I was), or because the news is particularly uneventful; not even because the earth (or Wacom customer service) opened up and swallowed me whole into its gaping and fetid gullet.

I’m late because I’m damn tired of beating a dead horse and sounding like a broken record.

photo courtesy of sofietie on sxc.huI’ve been thinking about this all morning, and realizing that it goes deeper than that; it’s not just me. I’m sick of listening to the very people that I want to fight for, the people I call my sisters and brothers in arms in the fight for gay rights. I’m sick of hearing (and saying) the same tired things over and over again with new names substituted in, the same story, the same tired old whinge. It’s all talk and very little action. I’m sick of listening to people beat the horse to death, only to spend hours more flaying the dead horse.

And then coming back to it again days later.

No wonder people don’t listen to us. No wonder people don’t take us seriously. We aren’t activists; we’re pretentious, self-entitled whiners, and it pisses me the hell off.

Talk will only get us so far when we’re too timid and afraid to do anything. Hold a parade, send a few angry letters now and then, then move back to our safe little lives, our PT cruisers and our nonfat lattes. Stay out of the line of fire. Look out for ourselves, and screw ourselves over in the process.

No.

Take a risk. Do something, no matter how small, to place yourself in the line of fire. Martin Luther King was a great speaker, a moving speaker, a man who could rouse people to action - because he was willing to take action himself, for the sake of his cause. He wasn’t afraid. He didn’t hide. We have no one like him, no single man or woman to rally behind. We’re too busy fighting among ourselves, then placating ourselves by screaming loudly now and then about how active we are in the gay community.

Words aren’t meant to be shouted just to be heard. Words are meant to carry a message. If you fight with words, fight with words that make people think. Fight with words that make people listen, rather than just complaining. Say something that means something, rather than just reciting the same old empty lines. Fight with words that matter.

And if you won’t rally behind someone else, rally behind yourself. Even if it’s a small thing, even if it’s being brave and standing up to someone who casts a slur on your life, your love, your very existence…do something. Something more than words. Something that will leave a lasting impact on someone, something that will make them stop and say, “They’re serious. They mean this; it matters to them, and this isn’t just some self-important parade.”

Don’t do it because you should. Do it because you want to; do it because you feel it from your gut. And if you don’t feel strongly enough about it to do anything, then don’t whine about it, either.

Put up or shut up. But let the goddamned horse rest in peace.


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11 Responses to “Why people are sick of listening to us.”

  1. Jen Says:

    Your words make people think and your words make people listen. Your words matter - and they continually inspire the heck out of me. Now - taking inspiration to action…that’s the difficult part.

  2. Tina-cious.com Says:

    What’s funny is that I organized a gay bowling league and we are nearing the end of our season…. and I saw one of our players sitting down doodling…

    So I looked at the paper and at the top it said bowling vs. activism and I asked her what it meant.

    She looked at me and said, “look how many people are here” - I turned and saw about 40+ gays and lesbians….

    With a notably sad look on her face, she continued, “Guess how many people show up for activism related events.”

    And I recalled the last that I’d recently been to. You could count the attendees on both hands.

    We are a poor excuse for activists.

  3. Sihaya Says:

    But you don’t have to be an activist all the time… Doing stuff together is important too. So keep bowling and support and love each other, and the rest will come when it needs to.

  4. MizukiTHPS Says:

    Well he is very right. There have been no real big important person that we rally behind. When we do rally we do it in small almost segregated groups, splitting ourselves and weakening our cause. We really do need someone that could bring us all together.

  5. Kujo Hikaru Says:

    Isn’t it funny how it always seems the most ardent “screamers” who say they are working hard on behalf of the cause are the least active ones in the community? Well, guess if it’s true for Jesse Jackson…

  6. Lala Says:

    It’s a sad but true fact of life…I agree with you.

    I would also like to congratulate you on another amazing DR Live Webcast!

    I laughed so hard and learned so much at the same time. Wow. Thank-you for enlightening me yet again ^^ You rants are made of awesome and probably bleed glitter.

    It’s the same thing at my University, activists for any cause are just shrugged off. Unfortunately no one cares enough to fight wholeheartedly for a single cause. Those that usually call themselves “activists” do so for self-gratification rather than for the actual cause. Look at celebrities for example. *le sigh*

    Peace, love and chocolate chip cookie dough!

  7. Lux Says:

    Unfortunately, activism is like cannibalism. =/

  8. Sihaya Says:

    I’m not sure what you mean, Lux =)

  9. Lux Says:

    Ops, sorry.
    “(…) that is called ‘cannibalism’, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.”

    =P

  10. Darkside Rainbow » Blog Archive » Who would you follow? Says:

    […] would you follow? by Adrien-Luc Sanders In the comments to Tuesday’s post, Mizuki highlighted a very good point: We, the gay community and our supporters, don’t have […]

  11. margie Says:

    Taking a risk is a good lesson for everyone … taking a risk when feeling solid, and grounded, and in a healthy place after quiet time is even better.

Leave a Reply


About Darkside Rainbow

DarksideRainbow.net is 451 Press's look at the darker side of the rainbow - where gay life takes a decided turn away from the happy, the shiny, and the pink, complete with news, gossip, and a healthy dose of caffeine-fueled cynicism from gay blogger Adrien-Luc Sanders. Check in Monday through Friday for a decidedly tongue-in-cheek slant on current events in the GLBTQ world, spiced with a few fun rants.

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