Who gives a rat’s about eHarmony, anyway?
You ever stumble on one of those issues where you’re of two minds about the overall conflict - where on one hand you understand the point and why something needs to be done, and yet at the same time you wonder what the hell the big deal is?
That’s pretty much how I feel about the eHarmony discrimination lawsuit.
eHarmony sued for excluding gays - Yahoo News
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The popular online dating service eHarmony was sued on Thursday for refusing to offer its services to gays, lesbians and bisexuals.
A lawsuit alleging discrimination based on sexual orientation was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on behalf of Linda Carlson, who was denied access to eHarmony because she is gay.
Lawyers bringing the action said they believed it was the first lawsuit of its kind against eHarmony, which has long rankled the gay community with its failure to offer a “men seeking men” or “women seeking women” option.
All right, I see the point here. It’s a good one. eHarmony.com is denying service to gays and lesbians based on sexuality, which can only be considered discrimination rather than an oversight based on ignorance when multiple prospective users have spoken to them about the issue and they haven’t changed their policy. It’s discriminatory, it’s unfair, it’s homophobic, it’s…not surprising from a dating service tied with a conservative evangelical religious group. But it’s still wrong, regardless of the “our business, our terms” clause inherent in most TOS agreements. Since it’s a publicly offered service, gays and lesbians should have the right to use it appropriately, and should also have the right to speak out and take action when that right is denied.
But on the other hand…there’s a nagging, irritable part of me that’s muttering about frivolous lawsuits. Why not just tell eHarmony to take a hike and use Yahoo! Personals, Matchmaker.com, Gayfriendfinder.com, OutinAmerica.com, or any of a dozen other well-established dating services that either cater to all sexualities or are specifically gay-oriented?
Seriously. Is eHarmony so much different from the hundred other online dating services that you can’t just take your business elsewhere? If a business doesn’t have what you want, you go to their competitors, who are - trust me - quite happy to take your money when the other company won’t. Suing eHarmony is a great statement for gay and lesbian rights, sure, but it’s almost like suing Target because they don’t carry your brand of dishwashing detergent (manufactured by a gay-friendly, eco-friendly, labor-friendly, pro-choice company, of course) and thus you had to buy it at Wal-Mart.
In this situation, we aren’t dealing with a lack of choice. If eHarmony was the only option available for online dating/matchmaker services, then going to the extreme of a discrimination lawsuit would be understandable. But in this case it’s a bit excessive, as frankly if I were in this situation I wouldn’t want to give my business to a company that I had to force to take it in the first place…not when I have other businesses lining up to provide me with willing service.
Forget the lawsuit. Go get your damned soap - and your damned date - somewhere else. If eHarmony doesn’t want to cater to the gay dating market it’s their loss, not yours, when they lose out on paying customers and revenue from advertisers targeting to the gay market. You are a consumer with choices and you lose nothing by turning to another service. So why waste the money to fight a meaningless battle?
The creed of good business is that the customer is always right - but what’s right isn’t always what’s smart.
And if you ask me this lawsuit may be the right thing to do, but honestly?
It sure as hell ain’t the brightest.
eharmony, dating sites, lawsuits, matchmaker.com, outinamerica.com, personals sites, discrimination
June 8th, 2007 at 9:31 am
You make an excellent point. Yes, it is discrimination but at the same time, why do you want so badly to use their services anyway if they are so bigoted? I think a more effective means of political statement would be to call for a boycott from those in the straight community who think their discrimination is wrong. Therefore, not only would they be taking their business elsewhere, they would be encouraging those in the public who have similar beliefs to do so as well. Instead of trying to force them to change their minds about the issues, make your own statement.
June 8th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Yes, it’s discrimination. The question becomes whether or not it is legal discrimination.
My opinion: Yes.
There are not only hundreds of matchmaker sites online, but there are hundreds of THEMED matchmaker sites online. I wonder whether the ‘out in America’ matchmaker allows people to choose that they’re ’straight men seeking straight women’. If not…then they’re just as discriminatory. Do ‘Pagan Singles’ sites allow people to set their religious matching to ‘Only willing to meet Christians’?
I hope this gets tossed out.
June 12th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
even if it is legal discrimination, it’s still amazing to me that in today’s world people still discriminate so blatantly. at the very least, wouldn’t all the money you’d make by opening up your site to ALL people make it worthwhile?!
July 17th, 2007 at 11:03 am
[...] isn’t something like the eHarmony case. In the eHarmony lawsuit, gays and lesbians are being denied a service that is not crucial to [...]
August 21st, 2007 at 2:42 am
[...] Ad Campaign Rejects eHarmony August 21st, 2007 by Adrien-Luc Sanders You may recall the suit against eHarmony claiming discrimination against gays, whose rejection from the site was implicit in the inability to [...]
September 24th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Eharmony is a SCAM! If you believe that they really match you up based on 29 dimensions, then I have some swamp land I would like to sell you. I am 5′6″ not bad looking just a little on the short side for a guy. My picture was a good one. I am physically fit etc. I had only 2 people actual write to me and of the two in three months, I really devoted as much time as I could to meet the alloted by them number of matches each day! So I more then went through a lot of people and you are going to tell me only two cared enough to answer me? Plus heres the real rub, I was often matched with women that were 5′10- 6′, and remember I am 5′6″. I can’t tell you how Phoney this site is, good advertising, seams to work for them as they continue to advertise. Well the only good thing was that my agony ended today after my three month payment and time limit! I am so glad to be done with this site. PLEASE heed my blog DO NOY EVER JOIN THIS SITE! I really don’t know what other site to suggest- does anyone out there have a match site that really works, that people actually communicate with you! This ONE DOESN’T!!!!
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