The Gay Quiz.
Sorry I’m so late updating today, kids. In a little personal (and yet at least topical to this site) TMI, I spent my early morning sending the boyfriend the dreaded Breakup Letter, making him the ex again for the second time in four years, even if I’m not quite sure he’s aware of it yet. I? I am going to happily enjoy being single for a long time. I go through about a man a year (better than a man a month), and I’m tired of it; besides, all I want is a normal guy, and it’s practically impossible to find one of those in the gay community. Trust me. I’ve tried. Anyway, I rather fancy the artful image of myself as the solitary, cynical writer, clove in one hand, drink in the other, and a stack of dog-eared manuscript pages on the desk in front of me while my glasses try to fall off my nose.
See? No such thing as a normal gay guy. [snrk]
Anyway. So I’m sure you’re not the slightest bit surprised to find out that hey, I wasn’t much in the mood for updating this morning. And I’m still not in the mood to go digging through the news for something to sermonize about. Instead, I feel like snarking on something a little.
Lately I’m noticing a growing trend in my site metrics: search strings that show that users are looking for a “gay quiz”. Not my Diva Quiz, but a quiz that will somehow analyze their personal habits, personality traits, and dress styles to tell them if they’re gay or lesbian. As if we somehow all share some uniform in style, habit, and personality. Really, a gay quiz should be horribly easy. And so now, without further ado, I present to you:
The Gay Quiz
1. Are you turned on by/attracted to members of the same sex, but not particularly affected by members of the opposite sex?
(a) No
(b) Yes
(c) I like both.
Answers Explained
If you answered (a): You’re straight.
If you answered (b): You’re gay/lesbian. Wow, that was easy, wasn’t it?
If you answered (c): You’re either bi or gifted with a strong libido that doesn’t care whose leg you hump as long as you find satisfaction.
Now was that really so bloody hard? No? Then why does anyone need a multi-question quiz for that? Hell, it even works if you’re transgendered, as I know the gender questions can get confusing because some people don’t quite get that you define your sexuality after you define your gender identity. If you’re FtM and you’re attracted to guys, you’re gay; attracted to girls, you’re straight (and woe on the person who calls you a lesbian). If you’re MtF and you’re attracted to women, you’re a lesbian; attracted to guys, you’re straight (and hell will befall the person who calls you a gay man). Still easy.
Now if you’re androgynous/genderqueer/asexual…um…you just are what you are. Have fun.
I’m gone. I’m thinking this is a weekend to curl up with a martini, the cat, and a good book. Enjoy your weekend, kiddos.
gay quiz, boyfriends, gay and lesbian quiz, are you gay, are you a lesbian
October 19th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Well, it’s never easy to break up with someone (even when it’s more like a man-a-week, like me). Enjoy that drink!
Oh, and my answer is C.
October 19th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Kujo! I was wondering where you were. Haven’t heard from you in a while.
A man a week? Holy crud. Where do you find the energy? The drama alone would kill me.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
How do you do it, Kujo? If I tried that, I’d unintentionally put myself in a mental ward after the second week. But then, the mess with ex-roomie and having to move almost did already.
My answer is also C.
October 20th, 2007 at 1:15 am
“C”. What’s the answer.
-http://www.findbilvoer.com-
October 20th, 2007 at 6:58 am
My answer is C.
And stop smoking, damn it =P
October 20th, 2007 at 9:08 am
It’s cracking me up that I made the quiz up to be sarcastic and people are actually answering the question.
[pout] But…but–! No cloves? Can I at least keep my martinis?
October 20th, 2007 at 11:03 am
I… uh…. can I call a friend? Poll the audience?
Oh, wait…
October 21st, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Sorry, Adri, work exploded and I had no time to check my RSS feeds. Don’t worry, I still love you!
Oh, and a week is easy when you screen your calls
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:29 am
Definitely a B, although I’ve rather given up myself on any normal guy. Single is good. As long as I have my smokes, beer and a book, I’d rather be alone, methinks.
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:38 am
Amen to that, Doug. What’s on your reading list right now?
And Kujo: still don’t think I could do it, even screening my calls, unless I turned the ringer off. Then again, I reeeaaally don’t like the phone. Welcome back, by the way. Hope work lets up on you a bit.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
The normal gay guys I knew were in commited relationships, so that makes it the same as for straight guys, the good ones are all taken.
I’m an A. (what? nobody’s perfect)
cdk
November 1st, 2007 at 12:56 pm
I took one of those stupid quizzes last week that you mentioned–the kind that had the multi-question quizzes. I am actually Transgendered, FTM, and took both the gay and lesbian. After going through what was an eternity of ads, I finally got my answer from both quizzes–I’m straight. How about that?
It didn’t take into account that I identify as a guy or that I was born female. It also didn’t take into account that I don’t “fit” someone’s stereotype of what a gay man or a lesbian “should” be like. I actually had in mind to create a quiz similar to yours, but haven’t yet. That was brilliant! I would have to answer “D”–none of the above.
Thanks for the acknowledgment of transgender identities.
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:57 am
I don’t understand how anybody in this world is gay, it doesn’t make sense. I mean i am 100 percent straight but how is it that anybody can not like a hot woman.
Like the eleventh comment says, “nobody is perfect(i mean gay guys
March 12th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
same, i choose “c” too.