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Separation is now equal?

by Adrien-Luc Sanders

Bad puns aside, while “separate but equal” doesn’t work in cases of gay society vs. hetero society, a New York judge has nonetheless established equality in the separation of married gay couples:

In First, N.Y. Judge Allows Gay Divorce
Trial Court Ruling Appears to Be State’s First Allowing Divorce From Same-Sex Marriage

In what appears to be the first ruling of its kind, a New York judge will allow a lesbian couple who married in Canada to sue for divorce.

Though New York does not allow same-sex marriages, a state trial court judge refused to dismiss a divorce and child custody suit brought by a woman, identified only as Beth R., against her former partner Donna M.photo courtesy of mzacha on sxc.hu

Donna M. had argued that her 2004 marriage should be invalid in New York because the state doesn’t allow same-sex marriage, but Supreme Court Justice Laura Drager found that the out-of-state marriage could still be recognized under New York law. Her ruling appears to be the first divorce case in New York from a same-sex marriage.

“What we’re seeing now is a judicial battle that’s going to be waged in [the] next few months,” said Arthur Leonard, who teaches a class on sexual orientation and the law at New York Law School. “People sometimes forget that divorce is part of marriage. People need a judicial process to untangle a relationship.”

The cynical part of me says that of course they’d grant a divorce; anything to get around allowing a gay marriage to be legally recognized in the United States. It doesn’t have to be recognized if it no longer exists, right? So hey, let’s eradicate it any way we can!

Hello, paranoid-cynical hogwash. While the thought is amusing to entertain…I don’t think so.

Back on planet earth, the reality is that while it may seem to place a negative spotlight on gay marriage to make a gay divorce so public, the ruling is actually a positive sign. Sometimes the avalanche towards equality starts with a single pebble, and often begins where we’d least expect it. Maybe we’ve got to reverse engineer this one: work backwards, starting with equality in ending a marriage instituted elsewhere, before working our way back towards finally finding equality in beginning that marriage to start with.

I don’t really have a way to close this, other than to make an announcement: I’m on hiatus until March 10th. I know that’s going to lose me some readers; some people will lose interest and never come back. That’s okay. It’s still something I need to do; I’m still dealing with balancing the job issues, and until I get rid of the Old, Horrible, Pain-in-the-Arse job and I’m no longer working full-time double duty with several part-time contracts on the side, I just can’t handle the time and effort involved in DR. It’s the one contract job I have that takes up the most of my time for the least returns, so when I start getting stressed from the workload, it’s the one that has to fall by the wayside temporarily.

In case you can’t tell, my heart hasn’t really been in it lately anyway. Too busy, distracted, and tired. I will try to do a comic for this coming Monday (March 3rd, why did I put the 7th before?), so that will continue to update as usual - and I’ll ask around the network to see if anyone wants to guest blog in my absence. Other than that, though…March 10th, once old-crappy-job is gone and I’m just handling new-shiny-writing-job and the side contracts. I’ll be back. I hope you will be, too.

~Adri

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12 Responses to “Separation is now equal?”

  1. Sihaya Says:

    Good luck! I hope taking a break here will make the difference you need.

  2. Shirvona Says:

    How will I cope without my daily amusement/enlightenment?
    Ah well, hope you manage with the work.

  3. Unbalanced Says:

    I know I don’t comment often but I do read everything you post. And I’ll definitely be here when you get back. Good luck!

  4. Lux Says:

    Good luck! =)

  5. Charlotte Says:

    If gay divorce gets on the law books I guess it’s the back door to the existence of gay marriage. :) Marriage is a basic civil right that should be attainable by all Americans. For the truth about gay marriage check out our trailer. Produced to educate & defuse the controversy it has a way of opening closed minds & provides some sanity on the issue: http://www.OUTTAKEonline.com

  6. Adrien-Luc Sanders Says:

    Thanks, everyone. Glad to know you’ll be back.

    And Charlotte, thank you for posting your link on-topic this time. I really appreciate it.

  7. Indikaze Says:

    I only read every other day anyway, so I’m sure I’ll cope in the interim. Somehow.

    Hope the break is good to you.

  8. Lala Says:

    Enjoy your break!!! I’m planning on taking a break from the internet to catch up…Japanese is sucking my soul. I will still read you stuff, though my comments are sporadic as well, I do enjoy your articles, they brighten my day.

    Peace,love and chocolate chip cookie dough!
    ME

  9. Kujo Hikaru Says:

    Adri: *hugs him* I told you directly, but I’ll tell you again…I’m going to miss your posts to DR terribly. No matter how much we communicate away from DR, it’s still nice to read your opinions on this site. Here’s hoping things cool down more in March so you don’t have so much stress!

    Indikaze: That’s…probably the rudest comment I’ve ever seen you post…

  10. Kaine Says:

    Aww, you know I’ll still be here when you get back. I hope all goes well for you. ^-^

    I have to say, my day will probably be a bit less shiny now without your posts, though. ._.

    Ah, well. Bona fortuna! :3

  11. MizukiTHPS Says:

    Although I do not post often, I will be very dissapointed when Kaine doesn’t come up to me and poke me and tell me all about your new post that you just made 10 seconds ago…

    But on topic, yes, I think this is actually a very positive thing although many people may take that pesimistic view.

    If divorce is recognized then why not marrige, it kind of goes hand in hand in todays society (another rant for another time). But really this could be a sign of an upcoming outcry for the right to marry.

  12. A. Shelton Says:

    Hey, try to find a few hours to just relax, Adri. I hope the time away helps and the switch, too.

    And try to give Kujo your opinions. I’d hate to visit to catch up on all the ones I missed for a couple weeks and find desperate posts from him begging you to put up an opinion on every one of them. ;) Kujo.

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About Darkside Rainbow

DarksideRainbow.net is 451 Press's look at the darker side of the rainbow - where gay life takes a decided turn away from the happy, the shiny, and the pink, complete with news, gossip, and a healthy dose of caffeine-fueled cynicism from gay blogger Adrien-Luc Sanders. Check in Monday through Friday for a decidedly tongue-in-cheek slant on current events in the GLBTQ world, spiced with a few fun rants.

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