No Style No. 9: I only wish I was making this up.
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There I was, minding my own business in the Wal-Mart checkout line, when it attacked: the Yaoi Fangirl. Normally only dangerous online or at anime conventions, this dreaded beast has the same fascination with gay men as your average heterosexual male drooling over a lesbian porno. Not to be confused with the (slightly) more sane Slashficcer, the Yaoi Fangirl fixates rabidly on anything attractive and male within sight and immediately begins aggressive reconnaissance, in search of signs of homosexuality. The majority of her life revolves around contriving ways to make her favorite male/male pairing possible regardless of the sexuality of the people/characters involved, or squealing over anything she can find with existing male on male erotica. What little free time remains is often spent either stalking any gay men of her acquaintance or wishing she was a gay man.
All right, maybe I’m being a little harsh. Not all yaoi/shounen ai fangirls are rabid, screaming maniacs, but every once in a while you run across the ones that scare the holy living crap out of you. Unfortunately, I was lucky enough to have that little surreal encounter yesterday morning, while waiting to pay for my grapes, milk, and granola bars and get the hell out of the store.
And yes, her hair really was up like that and she really was wearing all that…stuff.
Some days I wonder if I woke up in some freakish alternate universe, I really do. Seriously. I only wish I was making this crap up.
no style, gay comics, webcomics, humor, gay comic strip, yaoi, shounen ai, yaoi fangirls, anime, manga
July 30th, 2007 at 2:10 am
[...] No Style No. 9: I only wish I was making this up. [...]
July 30th, 2007 at 3:09 am
God, it… it looks like Mrs. Lovett!
July 30th, 2007 at 3:43 am
…..I’m speechless.
July 30th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Oh, dear sweet baby Jesus. -facepalm-
I’m surprised she left with both hands after she put them on you.
July 30th, 2007 at 9:25 am
I’ll admit it, I often wish I was a gay man.
…Such wishes tend to flare up most strongly after I observe the less-than-flattering actions of my own gender. Off to hide in corner now.
July 30th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
I still find it hard to believe that I used to be insanely obsessive like that…*sweatdrops* I have seen the light and now I leave the “insane yaoi bits” to the depths of my imagination. I’m surprised someone actually went up to you like that…*shudder* I dislike the rabid psycho yaoi-fangirls. They consider it the biggest insult when you disagree about pairing “a” with “b”…it’s ridiculous.
At least you weren’t glomped, or attacked…You survived! Congratulations! *waves pom-poms maniacally*
Peace, love and chocolate chip cookie dough!
July 30th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
…I think I know that girl. I think I’ve betaed for her before. Dear gods. Though I do fall under the label “yaoi fangirl” at least I have not crossed over to the realm of “rabidly insane spastic yaoi fangirl.” I’d have to put my own eyes out.
July 30th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
..I get that attention just for being Japanese. If only they knew I was gay too…
July 31st, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I know an awful lot of slash ficcers (all of which are either bi or gay) and most of my friends are gay. It’s kind of an odd combination, to have half your friends be gay and the other half be semi-obsessive anime fans. Fortunately, the two have never collided in the fashion you describe.
But I’ve heard stories (from cons and the like– reasons why I’m afraid to go) and I’ve met enough of them out in the real world and online.
I just don’t get it. I’m glad your favorite anime pairing is gay and pretty and, more often than not, gushing with rainbows. It doesn’t mean the rest of the world should conform to your strange fantasies. Or that everyone you meet who is gay is exactly like an anime character.
No wonder anime/manga culture is a sub-culture in Japan.
August 5th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Ugh. I have too much self-respect to go accosting people in the store about their sexual orientation. If I’m curious, I speculate, it makes me smile, I go on with my life.
And to think I’m setting myself up for this, once I’m published, if any rabid attack-fans discover that I’m the author of their favorite gay eroticas. I can just see it now.
Rabid Fan: Oh, you’re a woman! Wow, where do you get the ideas for all that stuff?
Me: I have something called “imagination.”
RF: I really thought that, Tamberlaine from book two and Tirigates from book Three should have gotten back together; that would have made Tiri so happy.
Me: Their stories were different.
RF: Oh, but I think they still BELONG together! I wrote a fanfic about it, you wanna see it? *shoves sheaf of handwritten papers at me*
Me: No, thank you. I have enough ideas of my own–didn’t you read the note in the books?
RF: What note? Oh, you mean the one about nobody being allowed to write fanfic, at risk of legal action? You wouldn’t do that!
Me: *looking for the nearest phone to call my lawyer*
Yeah, yeah, I know I can’t expect them to NOT write fanfic, and I don’t expect to scare very many. It’ll just be so that they know I’m ready to face any claims they make that I stole THEIR ideas. *shakes head*
August 6th, 2007 at 12:18 am
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August 14th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Wow, the sad thing is there are dumb girls like this (that I know personally too). I can’t find it in myself to feel too insulted by my own gender however (maybe because I know I’m better then that)? Thanks for the laugh though, I like your drawing style and humor. I just wish you had turned around and slapped her one good. Then again, slapping is for wussies. Maybe just baby punch the moron instead? I love gay guys and all and I read yaoi but people like need a reality check…
September 7th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Oh my goodness, to think that once I was sooo obsessed about yaoi and gay people… *shudders*
*sighs* Then again, looks like that kid isn’t past 18 years old yet. And we all know how annoying most teens can be. Gods, it’s little wonder why teens are often cast as monsters in most B movies.
December 27th, 2007 at 9:21 am
[...] and thus have no idea how the mechanics of that work. I know there’s a huge craze in the female-dominated yaoi fandom; I used to fuel it with a yaoi webcomic. (If you don’t know what yaoi is, have a gander [...]