Darkside Rainbow

Even though I’m not particularly flamboyant, people usually pick up on the fact that I’m gay. I don’t really know what my tell-tale markers are, honestly; my mannerisms and body language are pretty gender-neutral. Maybe it’s the hair, or something about my style of dress; maybe it’s the rose sunglasses (which, believe it or not, I wear to cope with painful photosensitivity and not for style), or the piercings - though the latter I doubt as plenty of straight men wear earrings now, too.

Maybe it’s that I can occasionally be caught giving a second glance to a guy whose aesthetic catches my eye. Maybe it’s that I generally don’t even give a first glance to the classic magnets to the male eye: the nearest T&A. Hell, maybe it’s just pheromones and chemistry.

Either way, there’s some signal that I give off well before I even let a “my boyfriend” slip in conversation that sets off people’s gaydar with that distinctive little blip. I suppose I’m so comfortable with myself that it’s wholly subconscious, but some people are a bit more deliberate - and a bit more wary. Some people have their own personal code of body language and carefully-chosen words, subtle ways of letting people know that they’re gay, carefully feeling out the territory around them…while others may be out and loud, proclaiming themselves proudly to anyone who’ll listen and making sure that everyone who even glances their way can tell in an instant that they’re fabulously queer. The hanky code isn’t so popular anymore…but we’ve all got our own ways about us, and different signs that work in different situations. We’ve all got our way of waving our little gay flag.

So if you’re gay…how do you out yourself? Do you let it all hang out, or maybe feel your way tentatively along, throwing out careful phrases like “my partner” to test the waters in your social environment before edging slowly out of the closet? Do you not out yourself at all, carefully covering your tracks to make sure that no one can figure it out? Or do you, like me, not even think about it unless it somehow accidentally comes up as part of regular interaction?

And what signs do you watch for in others? Say you’re wondering if that hottie is gay and maybe just keeping things on the down low; what signs do you watch for to try to tell even in the most “straight-acting” of girls or guys?

Hell…what is “straight-acting”, anyway? I’ve known straight guys who could flame me right out of the water.

This has been your daily interrogation, coming from a very sleep-deprived and coffee-deficient Adri. Let me know if you make any sense out of it, because I sure can’t.

Signing out.

P.S. Remember when I was griping about Dinah Matos-McGreevey being a little gold-digger? Well, she got what she wanted. Absolutely ridiculous.

gaydar, out status, sex and sexuality, gay-acting, straight-acting, butch, femme, governor james mcgreevey, james mcgreevey, dinah matos, dinah matos mcgreevey, mcgreevey, matos, gay nj governor, gay new jersey governor, jacqueline mcgreevey