God ain’t got nothin’ on us.
Gather now, unbelievers, for I shall tell you a tale of a power older than the deepest roots of human culture, a force of nature born of the beasts that we claim to have risen above - an instinct so primal, so raw, that it overpowers all else and summons the very earth to quiver before its almighty and terrifying grace.
Homosexuality.
You think you know divinity? You think you know truth? Blasphemers. Weak pawns following a false god. Hearken, then to the truth that even heathens feel burning in the very core of their damned souls: the truth subscribed to by men of all faith, men of Christian and Muslim roots and more, men of all walks of life united, despite their differences, in this belief.
It is these men who grant us this power, these men who believe that we can move mountains - nay, bring about a flood of Biblical proportions! If belief is power, is faith is strength, then it is these believers, these true followers, who have given us our godhood. For in their eyes we can destroy cultures, corrupt families and children, move the foundations of the earth and crumble the underpinnings of man’s constructions, summon the seas to swallow cities, bring down entire military forces with a single glance, and destroy what little peace this world has until it lies in the same ruins that we brought to Sodom!
We are gods, in their eyes. We have such power that their deities pale before us. Turn not from our glory, for we are the All and the One.
We are mighty.
We are a dervish, a dynamo, an unstoppable force of nature.
Tremble, sinners - for we are gay, and God ain’t got nothin’ on us.
Damn, it feels good to be a gangst–er, smartass, if according to homophobes I’m so powerful, why can’t I wish myself up a shiny new Pontiac Solstice, please take this as entirely tongue in cheek since I don’t feel like getting shivved by gay Christians, these bloody effin’ tags could be a post on their own
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February 21st, 2008 at 12:43 am
So, if you’re a God, Adri, now I can’t buy Vivians’s t-shirt? I don’t want to keep you off my body…
February 21st, 2008 at 12:44 am
…
~facepalms~ I give up.
February 21st, 2008 at 12:53 am
This sermon alone would make a great bible for Yaoi fangirls…
“Let us worship the gay man! He is God! [Watching] gay sex is an act of worship!”
February 21st, 2008 at 12:58 am
…especially if they’ve been reading Wraeththu. ~shudders~
February 21st, 2008 at 1:11 am
The funny part is that most Yaoi fangirls I know prefer Anne Rice’s Vampire chronicles, even though it seems her characters have their genitalia fall off as soon as they become vampires…
February 21st, 2008 at 4:03 am
Maybe we should paint your soapbox pink now =P
February 21st, 2008 at 6:26 am
I like this argument! Can I use it the next time I get into a debate with my friends?
Tone: have you ever known yaoi fangirls obey the rules of canon if it prevents them getting their mansex fix?
February 21st, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Please, for the love of all things that are good in this world, will you marry me?
February 21st, 2008 at 2:31 pm
That. Was. Beautiful.
You are amazing!
Adri S.
February 21st, 2008 at 2:47 pm
*smiles* It all goes back to yaoi fangirls *giggle*
I think you’re more than capable of making your own cynical rendition of the bible…summarised. If it were to be published, I would buy hundreds of copies and put them in hotel drawers next to the Giddeons (sp?) versions *giggle* You know, just to give them another, more “realistic” POV
If there a hell, I know for a fact that I’ll be headed straight there…and gladly, who the hell want to be in a place that is full of crazy religious folk?
Peace, love and chocolate chip cookie dough!
February 21st, 2008 at 3:54 pm
So are homosexuals also the greatest conceivable good then?
And more importantly, should we still put stock in Looking Good For Jesus?
Or is it about looking good for you now?
February 21st, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Excellent, Adri. You know, I never looked at it that way, but you’re right. I’ll bring that up next time I see a fundamentalist of any kind.
February 21st, 2008 at 5:03 pm
How come nobody ever talks about us slightly-less-than-crazy yaoi fanboys? =[
Anyway, beautifully done. I think Mizuki would like this. I must remember to show it to her later. :3
February 21st, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Come to the darkside. We have yaoi. And the cookies, of course.
February 21st, 2008 at 10:00 pm
What sort of cookies?
February 21st, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Chocolate chip cookie dough!!! and and and with smores! and and with caramels!!!
….but beware: they were probably made in a factory that produces peanuts…which can be deadly *insert maniacal laugh here*
But some yaoi fangirls make me sudder and quiver in fear….extreme fangirly-ism is EVUL!
February 22nd, 2008 at 12:10 am
Yaoi fanboys don’t count xD They tend not to be as “have to know every single detail of male gay friend’s sex life in order to write fiction about it” manic.
February 22nd, 2008 at 1:03 am
So. I am Goddess above these mortals?
Or is it same-sex-only who count, leaving bisexuals as demigods? Hmm. I shall have to devise a pantheon system now. Time for a dodgy fantasy story, methinks.
Nyahahaha. We shall cackle and reign damnation upon them. Heehee.
February 22nd, 2008 at 2:30 am
And apparently (according to one political party in Israel) we can start earthquakes! Man, we have all sort of earth-shattering powers.
February 22nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Tone: What, yaoi fangirls do that? That’s creepy.
Besides, I’m too busy figuring out every detail of my gay characters’ sex lives, much to their dismay (or glee, depending on who it is). X3
February 25th, 2008 at 3:30 am
[...] I couldn’t resist taking another jab at the idea that apparently homosexuality has the power to bring about earthquakes, floods, and the end times in gene…, if we truly possess the powers that homophobes seem to think we do. One same-sex kiss and the [...]