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God ain’t got nothin’ on us.

by Adrien-Luc Sanders

Gather now, unbelievers, for I shall tell you a tale of a power older than the deepest roots of human culture, a force of nature born of the beasts that we claim to have risen above - an instinct so primal, so raw, that it overpowers all else and summons the very earth to quiver before its almighty and terrifying grace.photo courtesy of vicbuster on sxc.hu

Homosexuality.

You think you know divinity? You think you know truth? Blasphemers. Weak pawns following a false god. Hearken, then to the truth that even heathens feel burning in the very core of their damned souls: the truth subscribed to by men of all faith, men of Christian and Muslim roots and more, men of all walks of life united, despite their differences, in this belief.

It is these men who grant us this power, these men who believe that we can move mountains - nay, bring about a flood of Biblical proportions! If belief is power, is faith is strength, then it is these believers, these true followers, who have given us our godhood. For in their eyes we can destroy cultures, corrupt families and children, move the foundations of the earth and crumble the underpinnings of man’s constructions, summon the seas to swallow cities, bring down entire military forces with a single glance, and destroy what little peace this world has until it lies in the same ruins that we brought to Sodom!

We are gods, in their eyes. We have such power that their deities pale before us. Turn not from our glory, for we are the All and the One.

We are mighty.

We are a dervish, a dynamo, an unstoppable force of nature.

Tremble, sinners - for we are gay, and God ain’t got nothin’ on us.

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21 Responses to “God ain’t got nothin’ on us.”

  1. Kujo Hikaru Says:

    So, if you’re a God, Adri, now I can’t buy Vivians’s t-shirt? I don’t want to keep you off my body…

  2. Adrien-Luc Sanders Says:

    ~facepalms~ I give up.

  3. Tone Says:

    This sermon alone would make a great bible for Yaoi fangirls…

    “Let us worship the gay man! He is God! [Watching] gay sex is an act of worship!”

  4. Adrien-Luc Sanders Says:

    …especially if they’ve been reading Wraeththu. ~shudders~

  5. Tone Says:

    The funny part is that most Yaoi fangirls I know prefer Anne Rice’s Vampire chronicles, even though it seems her characters have their genitalia fall off as soon as they become vampires…

  6. Sihaya Says:

    Maybe we should paint your soapbox pink now =P

  7. Shirvona Says:

    I like this argument! Can I use it the next time I get into a debate with my friends?

    Tone: have you ever known yaoi fangirls obey the rules of canon if it prevents them getting their mansex fix?

  8. jen Says:

    Please, for the love of all things that are good in this world, will you marry me?

  9. Adri S. Says:

    That. Was. Beautiful.

    You are amazing!

    Adri S.

  10. Lala Says:

    *smiles* It all goes back to yaoi fangirls *giggle*

    I think you’re more than capable of making your own cynical rendition of the bible…summarised. If it were to be published, I would buy hundreds of copies and put them in hotel drawers next to the Giddeons (sp?) versions *giggle* You know, just to give them another, more “realistic” POV :P

    If there a hell, I know for a fact that I’ll be headed straight there…and gladly, who the hell want to be in a place that is full of crazy religious folk?

    Peace, love and chocolate chip cookie dough!

  11. Emily Says:

    So are homosexuals also the greatest conceivable good then?

    And more importantly, should we still put stock in Looking Good For Jesus?

    Or is it about looking good for you now? :)

  12. A. Shelton Says:

    Excellent, Adri. You know, I never looked at it that way, but you’re right. I’ll bring that up next time I see a fundamentalist of any kind.

  13. Kaine Says:

    How come nobody ever talks about us slightly-less-than-crazy yaoi fanboys? =[

    Anyway, beautifully done. I think Mizuki would like this. I must remember to show it to her later. :3

  14. Cole Says:

    Come to the darkside. We have yaoi. And the cookies, of course.

  15. Adri S. Says:

    What sort of cookies?

  16. Lala Says:

    Chocolate chip cookie dough!!! and and and with smores! and and with caramels!!!
    ….but beware: they were probably made in a factory that produces peanuts…which can be deadly *insert maniacal laugh here*

    But some yaoi fangirls make me sudder and quiver in fear….extreme fangirly-ism is EVUL!

  17. Tone Says:

    Yaoi fanboys don’t count xD They tend not to be as “have to know every single detail of male gay friend’s sex life in order to write fiction about it” manic.

  18. Del Says:

    So. I am Goddess above these mortals?
    Or is it same-sex-only who count, leaving bisexuals as demigods? Hmm. I shall have to devise a pantheon system now. Time for a dodgy fantasy story, methinks.
    Nyahahaha. We shall cackle and reign damnation upon them. Heehee.

  19. Anni Says:

    And apparently (according to one political party in Israel) we can start earthquakes! Man, we have all sort of earth-shattering powers.

  20. Kaine Says:

    Tone: What, yaoi fangirls do that? That’s creepy.
    Besides, I’m too busy figuring out every detail of my gay characters’ sex lives, much to their dismay (or glee, depending on who it is). X3

  21. Darkside Rainbow » Blog Archive » No Style No. 39: And thus Elton spaketh. Says:

    [...] I couldn’t resist taking another jab at the idea that apparently homosexuality has the power to bring about earthquakes, floods, and the end times in gene…, if we truly possess the powers that homophobes seem to think we do. One same-sex kiss and the [...]

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About Darkside Rainbow

DarksideRainbow.net is 451 Press's look at the darker side of the rainbow - where gay life takes a decided turn away from the happy, the shiny, and the pink, complete with news, gossip, and a healthy dose of caffeine-fueled cynicism from gay blogger Adrien-Luc Sanders. Check in Monday through Friday for a decidedly tongue-in-cheek slant on current events in the GLBTQ world, spiced with a few fun rants.

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