Darkside Rainbow

Hooo…kaaaaay. My bad-news moratorium? Broken. I can’t keep quiet about this. I’ve been trying, for days. Days. It’s not working. I’m biting my tongue so hard it’s about to start bleeding.

Gays Banned But Military Recruits Increased Number Of Convicted Criminals - 365gay.com

(Washington) The Army last year again increased the number of its recruits who have prior criminal records by granting them special exceptions.

The Pentagon’s top personnel official defended the policy, saying it’s so stringent that many in Congress would have difficulty getting into the military today, too, because of things they did in their youth.

The military routinely grants waivers to recruits with past criminal behavior, medical problems or low aptitude scores that would otherwise disqualify them from service.

In the fiscal year ended Sept. 30, 18 percent of recruits needed waivers for problems with the law - up from 15 percent the previous year, Maj. Gen. Thomas Bostick, commander of the U.S. Army Recruiting Command, told a Pentagon news conference. He said 87 percent of those were for misdemeanors such as joy riding or violating curfew. [...] [D]efense personnel head David S.C. Chu said the waiver policy, taken as a whole, is a tough one and takes into consideration the whole person and his or her future abilities, not just mistakes the person may have made in the past.

One question they are asked, he said, is whether they have ever used marijuana, even once. “If you answer ‘yes’ about one use … it requires a waiver. [...] That’s a pretty tough standard,” he said. “Not to be cheeky about this, but (if) we apply that standard to our legislative overseers, a significant fraction would need waivers to join the United States military.”

Think about that last statement. Think about it really hard. I think that should bloody tell you something, genius.

Right now I’m seeing two obvious interpretations on this, from my (admittedly annoyed and prone to snarly speculation) perspective:

1. “Even a barely-functioning idiot or convicted sex offender is better than one of those stinking fags; we don’t want those types in our armed forces.”
2. “Take the criminals and the ill first and use ‘em as cannon fodder. Best way to get ‘em out of the breeding population and if the military doesn’t straighten ‘em up and set ‘em right, then at least it’ll get rid of ‘em so they’re not a problem anymore.”

Either option? Not acceptable.

(You know, later when I stop fuming, I’m going to end up rolling my eyes at myself for framing those interpretations in such sensationalist language. Y’know, just so you know I’m aware of how bad I’m being. I’m starting to think sensationalism is a job requirement for working in news media, though so hey - I’m on the right track, right?)

How much more ridiculous is this going to get? If you have a criminal record, you get a special exception and you’re in. Hey, we do it for politicians, might as well do it for soldiers, right? And if you’re too stupid to follow orders and so clumsy you trip over your own bare feet, that’s fine, we’ll just put you on the front line and push you in the right direction. You’ll make a great shield for the other soldiers. Oh, what’s that, you’ve got a heart condition? Don’t worry, a stray bullet will kill you before your heart condition does. You’re in.

Not you, though. Yeah, you, over there. The guy in great shape who takes care of himself and doesn’t have a single medical condition. The brilliant engineer who can probably put his skills to good use keeping people alive on the front line. The guy with the spotless record who doesn’t even have a DUI. Yeah, you? You’re out. I saw you eyeing that other recruit’s butt. We don’t stand for that in our armed forces, buddy.

I’m starting to think the people who make these policies were given a few of those special exceptions for low aptitude scores.

Don’t get me wrong, I wholly approve of forgiving past mistakes for the sake of future potential; I made a lot of screwups in my younger years, and I’m still paying for them and dealing with their consequences. I’ve learned to be a more responsible person because of it. People grow up, people change, people get their sh*t straight and move on to do some great things. My problem is that potential hazards are being forgiven for the sake of meeting recruitment quotas, but harmless homosexuality is still an offense that will get you booted from the military.

Unbalanced? Yes. Idiotic?

Hell bloody yes.

On a closing tangent, the man I ranted about in the killing of Michael J. Sandy has been convicted of a hate crime despite his dubious plea that he, too, is gay. I only have one thing to say to that:

Damn straight, baby.

No pun intended, naturally.

Since it’s Friday I hate to end with a down note, so for a little humor I present you with something I yanked off my site metrics: the strangest term anyone has ever Googled to get to this site.

“New Jersey transsexual husband lesbian bread.”

That’s so weird it bears repeating.

“New Jersey transsexual husband lesbian…bread.”

Makes you wonder what they were really looking for, eh?

I’ll see you monsters and marvels on Monday with a new No Style, but for now it’s off to get through one more day of work so I can enjoy my weekend; hope you enjoy yours as well. Say it with me now: na-na-na-na-na-na-na, tequila!

gays in the military, gay servicemembers, anti-gay discrimination, don’t ask don’t tell, military recruitment, service exceptions, michael j. sandy, hate crimes, hate crime legislation, murder, john fox, ilya shurov, anthony fortunato, seth lieberman, gerald di chiara, homophobia

Continuing my “I refuse to rant about the news because I don’t want to spoil my mood” trend this week, I’d like to tell you guys the little story that I mentioned in yesterday’s post. Yesterday we talked about Chelsea’s father; today we’re going to talk about mine. I’m going to get a bit personal, but I’ve done that before. I’m probably going to embarrass the hell out of my family, but I’ve done that before, too. And I’m going to embarrass myself a little, but…well…that’s definitely nothing new.

I love my father dearly; I really do. I love both my parents; I’ve just always had problems getting along with my mother, and went through a period where we didn’t speak for almost five years until Hurricane Katrina scared my butt silly and had me thinking she might be dead. We’re only now starting to deal with each other as adults, rather than snarling at each other like twelve-year-old girls fighting over a Hello Kitty handbag.

My Dad, though…we’ve always gotten along. He’s the quiet type, says little but thinks a hell of a lot, has a bit of an obsession with Billy Bob Thornton (Slingblade) and sometimes acts a little too much like him. He’s the kind of guy you can sit on a back porch with for hours, drinking a beer or two and quite comfortably not saying a damned word to each other. Just watching the mosquitos, watching the bayou, watching the Louisiana sky fade from a hard blue-white shell to a soft, deep rose that bleeds into twilight like watercolors running together.

It’s probably no big surprise that when I had The Talk with my parents about my sexuality, I was more comfortable telling my father than my mother. Even so, it wasn’t easy; first I had to get them to actually listen to me because they really didn’t want to know and deal with the whole “having a gay child” problem, and it was a long time before things settled down and my mother stopped nitpicking at me and making me feel like crap about it. My mother and I still have some small tiffs about it, though overall she tries to be supportive now. My father, in the end, took the news the same way he takes everything: quietly and calmly, thinking it over for a while before saying anything. In the end he told me if that’s what makes me happy then it’s my life, and I’m still his son and he loves me - and that’s been his stance ever since. I was and still am grateful.

Nonetheless, even now they still have those talks with each other. Those talks where they talk about me and my sexuality and ask where they went wrong, not really understanding that my sexuality has nothing to do with them or how they raised me, and I’d have been gay whether they abused me (they didn’t) or if we were the bloody effin’ Cleaver family - or even the bloody effin’ Addams family. They also can’t get this “wrong” concept out of their heads, but…they’re trying. [deep sigh] They’re trying as best they can, bless their nappy little heads.

Still, I wasn’t really surprised when, during a phone conversation with my mother the other day, she mentioned that she and Dad recently had another one of their little talks about “where did we go wrong with Adrien?”. In between making a few comments about my sexuality that set my teeth on edge (not out of malice, just unfamiliarity/ignorance), she started to tell me something that my father had said while a few beers under - then abruptly cut herself off. As blunt as my mother is, I should have taken that as a sign that no, I really didn’t want to know what my father said. She even said that I didn’t want to know.

In hindsight, I think she was right.

I finally pried it out of her, and when I did, I couldn’t believe that those words had come out of my quiet, slow-speaking, even-tempered father’s mouth.

“The only reason that boy’s gay is ’cause he ain’t had a good f***.”

…

Um.

Dad?

No.

I don’t think I’d ever really realized just how old-fashioned my father is, until that moment.

And I don’t think I’ve ever been more disgusted with my father in my life.

At first I was horribly angry when I heard that. One, I didn’t think my father was the kind of person to think like that even when drunk (that’s a Mel Gibson cop-out anyway, and we’ve all heard variations on the adage that alcohol makes a man honest), so I was horribly disappointed in him. Two, what does he know about my sex life and my experiences? I don’t talk about sex with my parents, unless my mother’s asking me uncomfortable probing questions and I give her just a touch too much detail to get her to shut up. It’s just not done, not where I come from. Talking about your sexual exploits and experimentations with your parents? Totally not on.

So my mother and father don’t know that yes, I experimented a little trying to get myself sorted out. Yes, I even tried being with girls to see if I liked it, and maybe I was just confused. And yes, Dad, I have in fact had many absolutely stellar f***s.

They just haven’t been with women.

I’m not attracted to women, and sex with a woman isn’t going to change that. It horrifies and hurts me to think my father would even think that way. Last I checked (now granted, I don’t spend much time rooting around down there), labia don’t secrete magical straight-making pixie dust that causes all men who come into contact with them to suddenly crave women - just like sampling a little cock can’t automatically make a lesbian want men. (Actually, it’s probably just going to make her want women even more. A lot of things come out of the tip of a cock, but they’re quite a bit messier and not nearly as pretty as pixie dust, and I doubt a lesbian’s going to find those things particularly enticing.)

To me, my father sounded just like your average chauvanistic straight male who will happily leer at a lesbian and tell her that the only reason she likes women is because she hasn’t met the right man to make her feel like a real woman, nudge-nudge wink-wink.

Yyyeah. Ha. No. I really don’t think so. Ladies? You want to chime in on that one?

I’ve never dealt with that sort of thing from a male perspective before, and to have it come from my own father just left me flabbergasted; apparently he thinks that I need the right woman to make me feel like a real man. I laughed when my mother told me, even if some of the laughter was sheer incredulity; more, I didn’t want her to know how angry I was.

I’m not so angry now, but I am at a loss, and deeply hurt. The worst part is that I know I’ll never bring it up to my father. My parents don’t really read this column; my mother glances at it now and then, but my father’s barely computer-literate enough to check his e-mail once a year, and I don’t think he knows I even write this thing. (He knows I’m “a writer” and I can support myself; that’s good enough for him.) The fact that I have a different last name from most of my family even preserves their anonymity, which is why I don’t feel so bad openly discussing these things here.

But I will feel bad if I confront my father about what he said. I love him too much to start a fight by telling him that I was angered, hurt, and deeply disappointed in discovering this side of a man that I’ve looked up to and adored for my entire life. It’s all he-said, she-said anyway, hearing it secondhand through my mother. You know family politics; if you act on something you heard from one family member about another family member then suddenly all three of you are in a mess, and drama comes raining down.

So I’m stuck with this. I’m stuck with the knowledge that one simple statement has changed my perception of my father so deeply, and it’s going to take a lot to change it back and make me believe that he really is the man I thought he was and the man that I, in a few small ways, wanted to be. Even worse, I’m stuck feeling as if his sentiment is somehow my fault, even though I know better and I’m not even the slightest bit ashamed of being gay. It’s one of those annoying, irrational guilt things that comes with family, and with love.

And you know what?

It absolutely sucks.

coming out, sex and sexuality, gay life, parents of gay children, mother, father

Thanks to everyone who participated in yesterday’s survey. The results were about as (welcomely) diverse as I expected, even though a largely female sample demographic may have slanted things a little.

I’m really not in the mood to trawl the headlines looking for something to get pissed off about today; I’ve been in a good mood all week and I’d like to keep it that way, so in the tradition of Dear Abby, I’m going to pull a letter out of the Ask Adri bag today.

Dear Adri,

My name is Chelsea, and I’m 18. I am fairly sure I’m bisexual. My I’ve talked to my father, with whom I’ve always been very open and who has always been very open with me. I am lucky to have someone so accepting to support me, however, I’m afraid it’s made our already strange relationship stranger. The dynamic of our relationship has always been different from most father/daugther relationships because my mom passed away before I was two years old. Gradually I’ve taken over, in some sense, the role of the woman of the house. I’ve also always reminded my father of his late wife, my late mother. He supports me and doesn’t seem to be upset about my sexuality, but he seems, at times, to feel betrayed. I only wonder if it is normal for a parent to feel betrayed or if it has to do with my rather odd role in his life. Was I wrong to say anything? Any opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Yours truly,
Chelsea

In my opinion, it’s never wrong to be honest about your sexuality. Now as to whether or not it’s actually wise? That’s another matter.

In this case, though, I don’t think it was particularly unwise. Parents are funny things (and on that note, I’ve got a story to tell you kids about mine, but that can wait until tomorrow), but they’re also the people we turn to first for acceptance and understanding, and often those upon whom the most hinges. Regardless of what kind of relationship you have with your parents, reactions can and will vary vastly.

Your father may be less betrayed than confused. Nine times out of ten, a parent’s first question on discovering that their child is gay, bisexual, or anything other than straight is “where did I go wrong?” Hell, my parents are still asking each other that, and I’ve been out for years. It takes a while for them to get past that hurdle, and there are many more hurdles still to follow.

You need to understand that what’s been obvious to you all this time as you worked it out for yourself may not have been obvious to him, and he’s probably puzzled and thinking back over the years looking for signs that he missed - and probably kicking himself and thinking that he should have known. He’ll be studying you with a touch of bemusement, rethinking his perceptions of your mannerisms and habits. He might even be wondering why you didn’t tell him sooner, if you have such a close relationship and he’s openly supportive; and that may be contributing to that sense of betrayal that you’re picking up.

Even more, he’s having to reevaluate your relationship, and this is where your current role in the house may have some influence on how he responded to your coming out. Discussing your sexuality with him places him in the firm role of a parent, rather than a platonic companion. You’re suddenly his little girl again, turning to her father for acceptance. That’s going to upset the comfortable daily routine for a little bit until he gets settled with bisexuality as a part of your identity, realizes that nothing’s really changed, and things drift back to normal. He may also have questions, but not be sure how to ask them or if it’s even appropriate to ask them.

The best thing to do is just ask him about it. Since I don’t know what kind of person your father is, I don’t know if he’d take the direct approach best or if you should build up to it subtly, but I’m sure you can work out the best path. Just find a way to ask him, “Hey, Dad? Is there anything about my sexuality that makes you uncomfortable? Were there any questions you wanted to ask me? I’d be happy to talk about it and clear up anything that’s bothering you.”

Hope that was at least a tiny bit helpful.

Taking a stab in the dark,
~Adri

Have a question you’d like to see answered on Ask Adri? E-mail your question to adrien-luc.sanders@451press.net with the subject “Ask Adri Question” or use the Contact Form to send your question in.

ask adri, gay advice column, bisexuality, coming out, coming out to your parents

A brief bit of discussion on the delurking post from last week regarding an apparent minority of gay Republicans (who seemed surprised to discover each other here) made me start wondering about political orientation, sexuality, and how much the former is affected by the latter. There is a general assumption that most homosexuals, bisexuals, and transgenders will be far-left, very liberal, definitely Democrats whose major political hot button is always GBLTQ rights - but is that really true?

Out of curiosity I put together this quick ten-question survey for my readers here. I like learning about you guys (and gals, and everything outside and in between), and hearing about varying viewpoints from all over the rainbow spectrum – so if you could take just a minute to take this survey, I’d really appreciate it. You can answer with just the letters, or you can add your expanded views on each question; it’s up to you how much or how little you want to say.

Now I’m aware, due to the type of site that this is, that the general reader base is going to be a bit slanted in a certain direction - so the survey is more a sample of the general feelings of the GBLTQ community and its supporters. If, however, you have friends that don’t quite agree with you on GBLTQ issues and you think they’d be interested in the survey, feel free to send ‘em this way; I’d love to hear from them as well.

Enough out of me; on with the survey!

1. I am:
     (a) gay/lesbian
     (b) straight
     (c) bisexual
     (d) transgender
     (e) questioning/not really sure
     (f) asexual

2. My gender:
     (a) female (biological or MtF)
     (b) male (biological or FtM)
     (c) biologically intersexed
     (d) androgynous/genderqueer

3. My age:
     (a) Under 13 (what are you doing on this site, kiddo?)
     (b) 13-17
     (c) 18-25
     (d) 26-35
     (e) 36-45
     (f) 46 or older

4. My “out” status:
     (a) completely out of the closet
     (b) only out to some people
     (c) totally closeted
     (d) I already told you I’m straight, you daffy blighter.

5. My political affiliation is:
     (a) Republican
     (b) Democrat
     (c) Independent
     (d) Other (please specify)
     (e) Pointedly Disinterested (which gets caps because it’s a large
     enough faction to be its own party)

6. I consider myself:
     (a) very conservative
     (b) moderately conservative
     (c) a fence-straddler
     (d) moderately liberal
     (e) very liberal
     (f) I really can’t stand the terms “liberal” and “conservative”.

7. I plan to vote in the 2008 US Presidential election:
     (a) yes
     (b) no
     (c) only if a candidate I can really endorse is on the ballot
     (d) I’m not old enough to vote
     (e) I’m not a US citizen and don’t much care for your elections, aside
     from hoping you don’t do anything silly. Again.

8. I feel that my sexuality affects my political leanings:
     (a) only a little
     (b) only a lot
     (c) not at all

9. A candidate’s stance on GLBTQ issues affects my view of them:
     (a) very strongly
     (b) moderately
     (c) only a teensy bit
     (d) not at all

10. The political issue that I feel the most strongly about is ___________________. (No, this one’s not multiple choice. Fill in the blank, hm? I’m not going to assume what your issues might be. Feel free to elaborate as much as you want.)

---

If you don’t want to discuss your political views and sexuality openly, you can post anonymously; in the section of the comments field that asks for your name, just fill in “Anonymous” or “None of Your Business” or anything you want other than your own name or the name you use most commonly on the site. Also, if I left an answer off that you feel better applies to you than any of the options available, then write it in; if you want to address a related question that I didn’t ask, such as “Do you think party platforms make them more attractive to people of a certain sexuality?” or anything else, knock yourselves out. Feel free to discuss your responses with each other, or ask me any questions about mine. And if you’re wondering what my answers are:

 

1. a; 2. b; 3. d; 4. a; 5. c; 6. f; 7. a; 8. a; 9. b; 10. separation of church and state.

And I’m done for now. I may post again later today; I haven’t skimmed the news yet, so I don’t know if there’s anything in current events/gay life that I might find rant-worthy - though on an off-topic slant, some people might find this just a little infuriating (although I’ll leave any ranting on that to more qualified people, such as my various readers or April over at Her Daily News). In case I don’t post again, though…see ya’ll (yes, ya’ll, so shoot me for being Southern - at least I don’t have the accent) tomorrow.

~Adri

Edit: It’s been brought to my attention that in my sleepy thoughtlessness, I left “asexual” off the choices for sexuality. It’s on there now. Sorry for the oversight.

gbltq politics, lgbt politics, gay and lesbian politics, gay republicans, gay democrats, 2008 presidential elections, sexuality and politics

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[tilts head] You know, I think I should just give up on anything involving straight…anything. Including drawing straight lines. I’m too gay for art, people. That’s why Takeshii and I are eating off a slanted table in there. Really. Yup.

…I so halfarsed on that newspaper, and on the hands, and proportions, and…oh, bah. My mind was everywhere but on drawing last night. I spent most of the day starting a new novel - and if you knew what it was about, I’d never live down the shame.

Anyway. The color in this comic is kind of dull, but…meh. I doubt anyone really reads this for the art anyway. And if you’re wondering what the comic’s about, no, it’s not really about my poor social skills (or utter lack of any at all). It’s just a little good-natured snark on the 42nd birthday of Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil (that’s a mouthful), the openly gay prince of India. Apparently hundreds turned out for his birthday celebration; s’pose that happens when you’re royalty. Retail value on just one of his birthday gifts could probably pay my rent for a year.

Me, I’d just hate to have to clean up after that party. I hope the catering staff got overtime on that one.

Silliness aside, though, it’s nice to see a publicly gay figure of such rank, who’s openly celebrated by so many people in a country with such restrictive laws. It sets a nice example to others.

…mmkay, it’s time for me to give up on trying to talk until I’ve gotten a little more coffee down the pipes. I’m off; see you tomorrow for some (hopefully more coherent) rantage and discussion. And as always, if you like what you see, scroll waaaaay down to that BuzzComix button and give the comic a vote every day that you stop by.

~Adri

P.S. Happy, Taka? This time I didn’t embarrass you.

no style, gay comics, webcomics, humor, gay comic strip, india’s gay prince, 42nd birthday of Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil

Finally get my computer up and running, get into my e-mail, and what do I find? A brand-new Ask Adri question waiting to be answered. (…well, that was a little self-evident. I’m Captain stinkin’ Obvious today.)

Dear Adri:

I am m2f (or i will be soon).. I want to start crossing. I have nice clothes but I don’t know how to shave my legs. I’m afraid to ask my girlfriends because I don’t want them to know yet. Can you help?

Sassy

Oh, honey, first thing I’m going to tell you is to put the razor down. You may have been shaving your face since you were sixteen, but trust me, shaving your legs and shaving your face are far different things - and have no doubt, the first time you’ll end up cutting yourself, giving yourself razor burn, and twisting in a dozen of the most uncomfortable positions trying to get into some obscure places you didn’t even know you had until you tried to shave them.

(Why yes, I do know this from experience, and no, I have no intentions of telling you just how I know this. Suffice to say that the negatives were burned, and we shall never speak of this again. Ever.)

Rather than shaving, you’d be much better off with a depilatory cream. (Avoid waxing unless you’re really that into pain. I don’t know how girls do that to themselves - I really don’t.) Most would recommend Nair or Neet, though I find that Nair stinks to high hell and both can leave a bit of a chemical-burn feeling behind even when leaving them on for the minimum amount of time, and they don’t remove all the hair - so you end up shaving anyway. Plus the consistency of male leg hair tends to be a bit different from female leg hair, so female shave products don’t always work for us - just as the mess we use to shave our faces doesn’t always work for them.

Stop looking at me like that. Yes, I know too much about this. Hush.

My personal recommendation is No Shave Liquid Depilatory, which you can buy from UnderGear. It’s designed to remove hair smoothly from the male body, although I recently bought it for use on my face and absolutely love it. As with any depilatory, though, you need to remember that you are dealing with chemicals here and you should definitely test it on a small area of your body first before slathering it all over your legs. Don’t want you coming out looking like an overcooked bucket of the Colonel’s Extra Crispy.

Good luck and sexy legs to ya, Miss Sassy.

Everyone else, seriously. Stop looking at me like that. It was one time. In college. Shaddup.

Have a question you’d like to see answered on Ask Adri? E-mail your question to adrien-luc.sanders@451press.net with the subject “Ask Adri Question” or use the Contact Form to send your question in.

Gay Republicans air anti-Romney Ad

Remember when I transcribed Mitt Romney’s creepy radio spot and spent a little time nitpicking it? Well, Romney’s own party has struck back from the rainbow quadrant with a lovely little TV spot:

 

Well…I wouldn’t really call that lovely, honestly. Actually, depending on how you’re listening, it sounds almost like it’s trying to sell Romney; according to the article, it’s highlighting Romney’s evolving stance on abortion. I don’t know. It’s just not very clear to me, and seems to have limited effectiveness. Don’t have much to say about it, really; guess it’s just too subtle for a blockhead like me. If you guys want to have a go at it, knock yourselves out.

Well, that’s it from me; I want to thank everyone who came out (no pun intended) in the delurking post and gave us all a chance to get to know you. The response (over 25 comments) was really a pleasant surprise.

Be back Monday with another No Style.

mitt romney, log cabin republicans, presidential debate, ask adri, gay advice column, mtf, m2f, male-to-female, transgender, transvestite, transsexual, cross-dressing, depilating, depilatory, shaving your legs

I only have a few seconds to dash by right now, so consider this your post-it to the forehead: I won’t be posting a real update until much later today because my computer flipped completely ‘tard last night and I had to reformat and reinstall, and I’m still getting this tarty little monster back up to speed. I’ll be back some time this afternoon, hopefully, ranting as usual.

…and getting caught up on the comments to the Delurk post since I was last online. Holy monkeys, you guys really came out of the woodwork, didn’t you? Um…hi.

Also, I am deeply embarrassed because I’m just now noticing that No Style breaks the 451 Press layout template in IE. You know why I’m just noticing that? Because I never use IE and absolutely loathe it, and on FireFox the images automatically resize to fit the template. I’m stuck on IE right now as I haven’t quite gotten to FireFox on my list of installs. I…er…better go fix that. Looks like my computer isn’t the only thing that’s brain dead around here. First rule of web design: always crosscheck your layouts in different browsers. Idiot, Adri.

…what? Stop looking at me like that. Yes, I’m still using tinyfont, to express my sheepish embarrassment. Um…look over there! At something not-me!

…or hey, if you’re feeling charitable: today’s my mother’s birthday. I confess I don’t remember how old she is today; 60…something. 61, I think? Anyway…my mother and I don’t always get along (translate: we’re often at each others’ throats) and she rarely reads this column, but be nice and wish her a happy birthday anyway.

agh!, FUBAR

I stole this from Allison over at Reality on Bravo; it’s The Great MoFo Delurk of 2007! (Okay, so it’s a day late. Hush. Man, why did they have to put dates on the buttons?)

What does that mean? That means that all you lurkers out there - and I know there’s a bunch of you; this site gets a couple hundred visits a day, and a decent percentage of you are repeats - need to stop being so quiet and speak up! Even if only for this one post, click that little comment link down there and leave a note. Introduce yourself! What’s your name, what’s your sign, how’s it hang, where are you from, why do you keep creeping on by here to watch me make an arse out of myself on a regular basis?

Hell, I’ll even start, even though this is all old news. I’m Adri, 27, an Aries who completely ignores astrology unless he needs a good laugh, and I am spectacularly gay and just about as pretty as I can be without being too flaming. …I’m also quite full of it on that last part, but allow me my moments of vanity followed by the usual self-deprecation. I’m from the New Orleans area, I currently live in Houston, and with any luck by next year I’ll have fled to Chicago and found a publisher for my first novel. I have a silly little smart aleck of a boyfriend named Takeshii, but still daydream about running away to Acapulco with a moderately articulate version of Vin Diesel - and if you think I’m an arse, you ought to meet my cat. Why am I here?

…well…’cause it’s my job. That, and I enjoy the feedback and opposing viewpoints people offer when I get up on my pulpit about current issues in the gay world. So why so silent lately, kids? I’ve made an idiot out of myself introducing myself on my own blog, so…even if I already know you, now it’s your turn; do it so the other visitors can get to know you, too.

Ready…set…delurk!

…I think I made the coffee a little too strong this morning. When I sound perky, it’s time for a bloody tranquilizer. Anyway…if you want to participate in The Great MoFo Delurk on your own blog, just click that little icon up there and get your own code.

See you tomorrow with something a little less…fluffy. In fact, while we’re introducing ourselves, let me introduce you to someone, if you haven’t already met him. (I’d be surprised if you hadn’t, but just in case this hot mess missed some obscure corner of the internet, here I am to spread the…um…love.) His name is Chris Crocker, and he’s an embarrassment to gay boys everywhere.

 

…you may want to turn your volume down before watching that.

If that doesn’t get your trainwreck syndrome going, I don’t know what will.

the great mofo delurk, chris crocker, youtube, britney spears, omfgwhat?

I haven’t had much to say about the lives of the rich and the functionally stupid lately, have I? I can’t help it; I’m really not much of a celebrity gossip-monger. I don’t care if Britney lost custody of her kids or if Milla’s huge as a barn (if she’s pregnant, of course she is, dolts); I don’t even follow the rumors of who’s gay this week despite it being my area of interest (unless it’s Vin Diesel or Wentworth Miller, and that’s more for the sake of my daydreams than anything else). Besides, the girls over at Trashy Celebs are much better at following that hot mess than I am. Every once in a while, though, I run across a steaming pile of idiocy that just demands that I open my mouth and say something.

ANNA’S EX SUES OVER GAY CLAIM - New York Post

October 3, 2007 — ATLANTA - Fiercely denying gay allegations, Anna Nicole Smith’s lawyer and companion, Howard K. Stern, slapped former MSNBC host Rita Cosby with a $60 million libel lawsuit yesterday.

Cosby’s book, “Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith’s Death,” claims Stern and Smith’s ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead had a sexual encounter.

The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks $10 million in compensatory damages and $50 million in punitive damages from Cosby and Hachette Book Group USA.

[...]Stern’s lawsuit says the book falsely accuses him of criminal lewd acts, homosexual acts, illegal possession and use of cocaine, conspiring to commit murder and kidnapping for ransom.

You can keep rollin’ your eyes till they fall out of your head, baby; that still ain’t gonna fix the stupid.

It’s not just the topic of the article that I find wholly idiotic, although really - first, I don’t know why these people write celebrity tell-alls without grounded evidence when they just know they’ll be called liars and quite possibly sued for more than they made on the book, even if they’re telling the truth. At the same time, though, what’s the point of suing over it? When there are celebrities, there are going to be celebrity tell-alls. Anyone read that horrid book by that woman who claims to have had sex with some hundred-odd celebrities (including my adored Diesel)? I can’t remember the title of it, but it penned multitudes of badly-written graphic sexual encounters and claimed them all to be true. Stern should just be glad he wasn’t involved in that, but then he’s probably not big-name enough.

Here’s what really gets me, though. Go skim that excerpt again. It says “Stern’s lawsuit says the book falsely accuses him of criminal lewd acts, homosexual acts, illegal possession and use of cocaine, conspiring to commit murder and kidnapping for ransom.”

Now check the title of the article.

“ANNA’S EX SUES OVER GAY CLAIM”.

Really? Is that all he’s suing over?

My nerves are getting twerked, kids, and when my nerves start twerkin’, my temper starts rising. What’s the point of sensationalizing the lawsuit to highlight just that one part of it? Frankly, I’d think Stern’s main concerns would be the drug use and murder conspiracy claims, not that he had a romp in the sack with another guy - but this article’s all about making it sound like Stern’s after $60 million just for a claim that he engaged in homosexual sex, and forget the rest of it.

Fine. Where’s my $60 million for the girl who thought I was straight enough to start flirting with me yesterday? I’m insulted, too. My name has been tarnished. I need money.

See how ridiculous that is? Frankly, I would pay to see the day when “gay” stops being such a culturally sensitive and insulting word that people in the news media feel the need to hype it up like that. Whatever happened to objective reporting? Jesus honkin’ Christ, guys, you’re really not doing us a favor, here. Most gay activists are struggling to get mainstream America to accept homosexuality as a commonplace, everyday thing, not a killing offense, and here you are screeching about it as a 60 million dollar insult.

But I suppose the article would bore people otherwise, wouldn’t it.

That’s just sad.

anna nicole smith, howard k. stern, rita crosby, larry birkhead, Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith’s Death

Sorry I’m so late with an update today, kids. I’ve been working some fierce overtime on one of my jobs and running low on sleep, and I overslept this morning - not only missing my usual before-work writing time, but also making myself a little late for work. Oops. So this is the first time I’ve had a moment to sit down and write anything all day (which isn’t boding well for my second novel, either).

…okay, it’s a tiny bit my fault, too, since I stayed up too late last night watching The Fast and the Furious, enduring bad acting and scripting for the sake of a little Vin Diesel and some hot muscle cars. Hush.

Sliiiiiding right back onto topical discussion: normally I save anything transgender-related for my Thursday’s Transgender Tales posts out of some sick addiction to alliteration, but I think since today’s Tuesday my little literary quirks are safe in discussing what’s been going on with ENDA, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and the U.S. House of Representatives.

I’ve been following this with some curiosity, not just because ENDA affects the entire GBLTQ community, but out of interest in how it might affect several of my trans friends. Last week, ENDA stalled in the house when apparently the trans-inclusive language became a problem (I’d love if someone could provide me with a better explanation of how, as I don’t quite understand this), and was split into two separate bills: ENDA and…GENDA? Did that really say GENDA? Oh, shoot me now.

This, naturally, ticked off quite a few people in the LGBT world, and resulted in a lot of pressure from the activist division, especially with ENDA slated to go forward with transpeople excluded and GENDA slated for a later date. Now House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has postponed advancing ENDA, until further discussions on the provisions of the bill.

I’m hoping they come to some kind of resolution on an inclusive bill, because I have serious problems with segregating the “T” from GBLTQ/LGBT/however you want to write it. First, the separation into two bills presents a dangerous uncertainty; while ENDA could be approved, GENDA (I die a little inside every time I type that) could easily die on the House floor, leaving transfolks without the workplace protections afforded to gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.

Second, I can’t help but feel a bit of general unrest centered around the way we in the GBLTQ community already treat transgenders. I’d be lying if I said that we weren’t a bit hypocritically nasty at times; when we’re welcoming, we do it with great fanfare and open arms, but when we aren’t, we’re as cruel as straights have been to us. I don’t like the idea of further separating transpeople out from our ranks, when we should be working harder to pull together as a community. That’s why I’m glad the various activist organizations have spoken out against the separate bills.

I can’t help but wonder if the bills were separated due to understood differences between sexual identity and gender identity, and a perceived need to draft separate legislation to address both. I, personally, think it’s unnecessary. Yes, transpeople are going to require a few extra provisions in the workplace, but I think those provisions could be taken care of with a bit more specificity in an all-inclusive bill rather than anything separate. Drafting a separate bill is just causing unnecessary complications, and placing transpeople in danger of losing needed protections of their freedoms and rights in the workplace.

But that’s just my two cents. Hey, what do I know?

ENDA, employment non-discrimination act, GENDA, workplace protections, house of representatives, house speaker nancy pelosi, transgender, transvestite, transsexual, crossdresser, crossdressing, mtf, ftm, m2f, f2m, male-to-female, female-to-male, gender identity, gender dysphoria, transition, transitioning, sex change

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…you know this comic was just an excuse for me to say “giant anime hooters”. It’s kind of catchy.

The boyfriend would very adamantly like to make it known that he does not own a shirt like that, wouldn’t be caught dead in one unless it possessed an image of Koda Kumi, and is basically sacrificing himself to my whims for the comic because if I tried to draw Koda Kumi (and trust me, if he had on a Koda Kumi shirt, we’d have a conversation very similar to this one) you wouldn’t be able to recognize her from an inkblot.

Take heart, love. At least I didn’t embarrass you by putting you in a Stella T-shirt…though I’ll refrain from mentioning who else I could have put on the shirt. I like living.

(What cracked me up was when I showed him the art for this while I was working on it, and he said “Oh my god, I look like such a fag!” “Darling, you are a fag.” “…oh. Yeah. Looks good. ^_^”)

Aaaanyway…I couldn’t resist taking another jab at the article from last Friday’s post. It’s always fun to take something absurd and flip the situation around to highlight the absurdity of it even more. After all, I really doubt that anyone would get sent home for a shirt that says “Straight? Fine by me!”

The art on this one’s a little hokey; I’m not sure what went wrong, but something’s off. I drew this in a hurry when I was tired and ready to keel over, so that probably contributed to it quite a bit. I’ll try to take more time on next week’s.

For now, though, I’m out of here. Come back tomorrow for the usual ranting and griping.

no style, gay comics, webcomics, humor, gay comic strip, heathyre farnham, spencer new york, principal ann sincock, spencer-van etten high school, homosexuality in schools